You know with all the crap that is on television, it's amazing that the world hasn't done us all a favor and just like eliminated the world of television, sitcoms, and cartoons. As long as they leave the porn, I'm cool with that. And, Snakes on a Plane and the Texas Longhorns, but you know, other than that, everything else. Anyway, I'm saying all this because I think about the kids today and them growing up with crap to watch on TV. I mean, really, who wants to see Flava Flav get married, or see Master P learn to mambo, or watch some bloke eat cow balls dipped in sasla marinated with horse urine? I know some 3rd world countries might want to see that, but last time I checked, Oklahoma was still considered part of the United States. Unfortunately. With all this crap kids have to watch, by their choice, or lack thereof, I think it is my duty to acknowledge one of the greatest TV shows of all time, especially growing up a teenager in the 90's as many of us did, well, at least many of my friends, although some of them are still living in the 90's. You all know what show I am talking about, it's that gang from Bayside. Yes, the kids that brought Mr. Belding so much grief, and the show that brought Tiffani Amber Theissen to the mainstream, and unfortunately also gave us "I'M SO EXCITED!!! I'M SO, SO...SCARED". Ladies and gentleman, I give to you Saved By the Bell
The greatness of this show is endless. Just picture yourself watching this show, and if you dont remember this show, you were either a dork, or on Mars. Either way, not a good combination. I will assume that you all remember the main characters from the show, Zach Morris, the school cool guy, A.C. Slater the jock , Samuel "Screech" Powers the nerd, Lisa Turtle aka "Token" or fashion queen, Jessie Spano, the pro-woman, man-hating pseudo-lesbian, and Kelly Kapowski, the smoking hot cheerleader and love interest of Zach Morris. Imagine yourself in high school, or even junior high, dont we all remember someone from our immediate click of friends who fit these descriptions? I know I was usually a combination of Slater, mixed with enough Zach, and splashed with Screech to make me believe there should have been another cast member, like Tito to give to our Latino demographics. So far the audience is able to relate to its cast. Is their another show out their that does this? And dont give me that "Laguna Beach", or the "O.C." crap because first of all cool people dont watch MTV and second of all that "O.C" crap is all fabricated, therefore loses any type of credibility...and besides this is my blog and those shows blow ass (but nice eye candy).
I think another thing that makes this remarkable was how terrible it was produced, yet how much we all liked it. Let me give you an example, remember how Zach could just look at the TV camera and say "timeout" and the cast would all stop in their tracks? I mean, who does this anymore? Wouldnt we all like to have this special power and be able to do this? Like how many times would you do this is if you were like at a strip club and the, uh, performer is doing something just totally wicked, and you would be like "timeout" and then you can imagine your options. Imagine the possibilities. You getting yelled at by your girlfriend? "Timeout" and now you can think of something to say; really it's up there with as far as skills are concerned, along with flying, or being Vince Young. Yet, no matter what they did on that show, we kept going back for more. And more. And more. It was addicting.
How addicting was the show? I'll tell you, if you remember and planned your school bus route home, you could watch anywhere from 1-4 episodes of the show. ON THE SAME DAY. If I recall correctly, the first channel that broadcasted it was either TBS or WGN, or vice versa. Ah, whats this? These are both national broadcasting stations? What a coincidence. It's like Big Brother wanted us to watch this show. So if you got off school and made it home before 3pm you could catch a full hour of SBTB and then flip it to the other channel and catch another solid hour. Think about it, I mean South Park doesnt get this treatment. Think about some that do, Seinfeld, Everybody Loves Raymond (not me though)...in the pantheon of great sitcoms, this is the '27 Yankess with Ruth and Gehrig. Really interesting.
But, like all other great shows and sitcoms that actually served some type of purpose, SBTB gave its audience a message. I mean, think about all the black and white TV shows, Leave it to Beaver, My Three Sons, and even the one with Andy Griffith, the purpose of the show was to deliver a message to its viewers; most of this was either taken with a grain of salt, or something that was common sense. Its not like they were preaching not having sex with hookers, or snorting lines was bad or something. Mainly stuff like, "dont lie", or "parents always find out bad stuff", or "drugs are bad". Sadly, they never touched on "bros before hoes", but you can't win them all. Anyway, some of the most greatest episodes were the ones which really hammered home some morals. Case in point, anyone remember the Johnny Nevada episode? The one where some famous Hollywood star comes to shoot a commercial with the premise of "Dont do drugs"? If you dont, let me refresh your memory. Johnny Nevada is a movie star, comes to Bayside to shoot a commercial and the gang is in the shoot. At the after-party Zach and Kelly go and are offered some of Jamaica's finest. Chaos ensues and Johnny Nevada is ratted out. The moral of the episode, was "there's no hope with dope". Ok, nothing groundbreaking in that one. Lets look at possibly the most infamous episode in the show's history. You might have heard of the episode, it was the one where Jessie is addicited to caffiene pills and she is suppossed to sing in a video that same day as a big test. I just call it the "I'm So Excited Episode". Yes, this one is famous for 2 reasons. Obviously the moral was that pills can be addicting, but come on, caffiene? Why couldnt they go for broke and have Jessie addicted to like crystal meth, or coke, and the only way for her to survive the habit was to strip. Well, actually they tried that, and I believe that was called "Showgirls". The other reason this sticks out was the pop culture phenomena that spawned because of this episode. I mean, the all you have to do is yell out "I'm so excited. I'm so, so, scared" and immediatley people will recognize your street cred. That phrase is on t-shirts, youtube, message boards, Bill Simmons columns, and my friends when you are on those things, you have arrived big time, ala "Snakes on a Plane". If you want to, check out the link for that episode here..... BEST.EPISODE.CLIP.EVER. But again, the purpose of the show was to deliver home a message to its viewers and it did. Successfully. And even to this day that episode lives on and much like the legacy SBTB left us, it will stay with us. But, like everything else in life, it did have downfalls.
What could a show like SBTB have as a downfall? Well, this always pissed me off. Anyone remember Miss Bliss? That was the middle school years, what happened to them? How do they go from like 6th grade to like juniors and seniors over a year? Were they also in the same class as Rocky's son in Rocky 4 where he ages 7 years over Christmas? I mean really come on, at least make it a gradual change; not one that is going to screw up my time of reference; not to mention my sanity. Really think about it, they had that Italian-Mexican dude and replaced him with muscle bound-Slater and didnt expect us to notice? Come on man. Also, during the shows final demise, I like how they took out Kelly and Jessie and gave us a leather coat wearing, tough girl attitude who looked like a white Mike Tyson, or as we knew her, Torrie. What purpose did she have? I mean was she there to change everyone's oil? Replace transmissions? What? And somehow Zach ended up dating her. Was Zach that strung out for getting a piece? Was he on the rebound? Really, we need answers. Dont get me started with the "cell phone" that Zach used; it doubled as a walkie talkie used in World War II, I think you could program the sun with it. What about when the crew left and all had summer jobs at the beach and Zach fell in love with Stacey Carosi and somehow NONE of it pissed off Kelly, who was his ex? Really would that fly in todays world? Could I get away with something like that? I highly doubt it, probably because all my exes probably hate me, but thats besides the point.
Also, how come there was no creepy sexual tension between any of the cast members during the shows? I mean, come on, to think that Zach and Kelly didnt get a little jiggy away from school is preposterous. Unfathomable. ALL head cheerleaders are sluts. There is ALWAYS creepy sexual tension between 2 people who have knocked boots, yet it was never visible. I could understand Jessie and Slater because Jessie was probably either secretly visiting with Torrie and midnight showings of "Boys Dont Cry" or maybe she was holding out on him, but with Zach and Kelly it was never evident. Total BS. And, yeah this will come out probably sounding bad, but not really. How come Lisa, aka "Token", was the only one who could afford the country club membership? Was this some type of reverse discrimination? Come on, someone as proper as Jessie and her parents surely would have been able to go to the country club. And since Jessie and Zach were neighbors, one would deduce that Zach lived in a nice area as well, so we have a possiblility of 2 more people who can go to the country club. Also Zach was a "spoiled preppy" in the words of Slater, so he's got that going for him. But, again, I digress.
These are just some things that I find cool about SBTB, I am sure that we all have our reasons to love the show and not to love the show, but this is what I remember. I know that everytime the show is on TV I watch it, usually because its 2am I am just getting home from a night out. People and audiences know what it was like to watch the show and everyone has memories, maybe it was another episode that is your favorite, or sums up your adolescence other than the ones I recall vividly. Maybe you were the one who was in love with Mr. Belding, or Jessie's step-brother from Jersey, or maybe you were confused by why Torrie Spelling only appeared every once in a while and why did she get stuck with Screech. Or maybe about when that hot teen singer gave Zach a kiss and he actually won the bet but still had to wash the ugly chick in middle school, Nicki's gym clothes. Regardless of why you loved, liked, or hated SBTB, you gotta admit that given the option between watchin "Saved By the Bell" or"Yo Momma", it's not even a contest, as a matter of fact, much like Jessie, "I'm so excited" just thinking about the crew from Bayside High School.
