RIP: FM Radio

(written 6/15/07)

Back in January of 1985, the amazingly-so-shitty-they're-inherently-awesome hair band, Autograph released their biggest, and only, hit Turn up the Radio. This song was, in my estimation, a retort to Wall of Voodoo's Mexican Radio. Of course these songs shouldn't have been confused with Rush's Spirit of the Radio, Gary Numan's Radio Heart, and, of course, Video Killed the Radio Star, by the Buggles. As you can see, the 80's mainstream was not just transfixed on just Reaganomics, Transformers, and, bad clothing styles, but, musically - radio - was the one of the key components to making it big-time…let's face it, after the radio was turned up, Autograph was never heard from again.

As America moved from the 80's into the 90's, radio, specifically FM radio, owned the music world. FM radio, coupled with MTV, gave America access to their favorite musicians, the radio allowed you to hear the music; MTV allowed you to see the music in form of videos. See, you were small-time if you weren't on the radio, unless, of course, you were 2 Live Crew. Being on the radio pretty much ensured you to prominence, publicity, and groupies…interestingly enough, the opposite effect took place with 2 Live Crew; they didn't need the radio; word of mouth and curiosity was the biggest factor for their success, well, that and We Want Some Pussy!

Thanks to Al Gore, the 90's gave birth to the greatest creation of all-time: the Internet, I am super serial. The Internet changed the world: it allowed us to pay bills, research work/school information, and download porn, simultaneously. Up until the mid-90's, people world-wide were relegated to accessing their porn via videocassettes, Pay-Per-View, or, magazines. Obviously the importance of the Internet cannot go understated. Adult-business aside, it also changed the world for the worse; it killed radio, specifically FM radio; face it folks, radio is dead.

So, what exactly do I mean "radio is dead"? Well, just as the phrase suggests, radio, in itself, is dead; it's relevance in the realm of pop-culture is nil; the importance of radio in today's world is nowhere near the same as it once was; and, just as readily-available porn has changed the world; the availability of good music is no longer relegated to listening to 104 KRBE, 105.9 the Lazer, or KROQ. So, while you're thanking the Internet for the accessibility of porn, but you can also thank it for the decline of radio. I don't know if that's a good thing or not, but it explains why file sharing programs like BearShare, Limewire, and Kazaa are some of the most used pirated programs out on the net right now. Of course, this begs to ask the question: are people using them for music, or porn? Someone needs to get on top of this, STAT.

(ed note: For some reason I seem to be fixated on porn these past 2 paragraphs, I don't know what the hell's gotten into me…no pun intended. I swear; I'm not a perv. Ok, back to the blog…)

Obviously the Internet isn't the lone reason for the dying of radio. One of the biggest reasons radio is dying (and music in general) is because of the product being produced and played on the air. Look, I never get tired of bashing Nickelback, Hinder, Creed, and Mili Vanili, but looking past their music into some of the more culprits behind the fall of radio; it's not hard to see why people are getting turned off by listening to the same 40 songs over and over and over.

Sure, blame the Internet for the demise, but I say blame the music industry; they are just as much to blame for the decay of radio. Think about it, how many times have you heard manufactured music? How many songs do you know make no complete sense, with lyrical content as complex as a first grader vocabulary- which explains Mims "rapping": "I don't gotta rap, I can sell a mill saying nothing on the track", on This is Why I'm Hot. As much as I love music, it kills me to hear shit like this, have commercial success; it makes no complete sense. It's not just songs like this, but you can throw out Fergalicious, Girlfriend by Avril Lavigne, and, of course, every Nickelback release. The craftsmanship of the music is so factorized and bubblegum-wrapped, and juvenile, the music itself is being, almost, satirized.

But, here's the thing: these are the songs you hear on just about every single fucking radio station; it's not fair for actual songwriters who aren't in the music for the money, videos, or groupies (well, that last one might be a stretch).

Lyrically speaking, the Decemberists have some of the most complex lyrics out right now, I swear when I hear their music, I usually have to look up a new word; not saying this is the right way to go about writing music, but it's easy to see the craftsmanship is pure and not fabricated. Herein lies the problem with radio today, there are too many instances of shitty music being thrown together and sold. The even more amazing part of this is the fact bands like Nickelback actually sell records; people buy these "albums".

I have a buddy out in California right now who is in the music industry, check him out if you have a chance, here's his link, Ryan Hill. His craftsmanship is easily greater than just about anything you are going to hear on 104 KRBE right now…even you Plain White T's. Call, me a musical snob, or what have you, but listening to James Blunt say "you're beautiful" one hundred times in a 3 minute span is fucking annoying.

Obviously the music is manufactured, this is one constant which will never change because there will always be teenagers who eat this shit up…as they grow up, they wonder what were they thinking. This happened to me, it happened to you, it happens to everyone, if you don't believe me, I got three words: Ice, Ice Baby. But radio is the perfect platform for this type of music; as long as you have radio, you will always have manufactured music, and unfortunately, manufactured music is one of the reasons for the decline of radio. Ever notice how no matter what city you go to in America, you will always have the same exact songs on the radio, no matter what genres, no matter where you go, it's inevitable to get rid of horrible radio music, much like cockroaches.

By now you have undoubtedly heard of satellite radio, with the merger of XM and Sirius radio stations, listeners now have access to a wide variety of music whenever they want, commercial free too, I might add. Of course, satellite radio also is another cause for the demise of radio, I would much rather listen to XM radio all day, and luckily because of the work, I have that freedom. The beauty of satellite radio is not only does it give you commercial free music, but it also gives you hundreds of different choices of music to listen to. I started listening to XM's U-POP 29 around January of this past year; needless to say this is my favorite channel. I have heard more great, albeit obscure, songs on this channel alone within the past 6 months than I have in the past 6 years on radio. On this channel alone I was introduced to Razorlight, Phoenix, and pre-mainstream Lily Allen.

I mentioned choices, and this is exactly the best part about satellite radio compared to FM radio; the choices the listeners have. More often than not, the radio labels chose which songs to release from their artists CD's; the listeners don't have a choice what is on the radio. Instead of Lily Allen's Nan, You're a Window Shopper; radio listeners are given 50 Cent's Window Shopper. In a weird way, radio execs force what they want us to hear, and the obvious way is via radio. Satellite radio at least gives us choices for specific genres to listen to, whether it's hip-hop, underground rap, death metal, trip-hop, house, dance, disco, or Euro-pop, at least the listener has a choice, sorta like at a drive-through; you wouldn't want to be told you had to have a Big Mac if you wanted a Quarter-Pounder one day, would you? Now that I say that, I'm getting hungry.

But back to my main point, radio is dying and the Internet is that cause. Think about how easy it is to get your music (and porn) if you want to. You can Google just about any artist in the free world and find a sight to download them. Hell, right now you are on one of the easiest ways to find new music: MySpace. Downloading songs, ripping songs, burning CD's, and uploading new music is the way the music industry is heading. It definitely explains the decline in record sales over the past few years. MP3 players, IPODS, even cell phones now, all allow you to listen to any music you want to, and the beauty of it is you choose your playlist, you don't have to listen to some annoying radio deejay make horrible jokes while being inundated with commercials; it truly is all music, all the time.

All these factors are contributing to the decline music, I don't think radio will ever become obsolete the way Atari 2600 has, but it will get close. The only reason it won't is because of the advertising dollars which can be made from radio…too much of a cash cow, even though now, it's more like a cash cat. All I know is this, for the first 16 years of my life I was at the mercy of not having the Internet. I was forced to get my porn on video, TV, or magazines, similarly I got my music the same way. But now thanks to the Internet I don't have to become contempt with listening to Party like a Rock Star seven times a day. Sure, every once in a blue moon, a good song will actually come on the radio, in that case, I might take Autograph's advice and turn up the radio.

When Rage Against the Machine released their song, Vietnow, Zach de la Rocha told listeners, to: "turn on the radio..nah, fuck it, turn it off". With the music out there on the radio right now, maybe RATM was ahead of their time, maybe they knew something the rest of us didn't. So, if you excuse me I gotta cleanse my ears, I'm at work today and it's on Top 20 on 20; you know what that means right? Yep, probably not gonna listen to 2 Live Crew today; and what a travesty that is…until next week, stay low..