Don't Forget the Lyrics: A Running Diary

(written 7/12/07)

8:28pm: Catching, the tail end of So, You Think You Can Dance? Alright, call me a dork, but there is some pretty good shit going on here…and hot chicks. Maybe, I'll pick this show up on DVR…then again, I always need room for impromptu movies like The Devil Wears Prada, so never mind.

Set-up for Don't Forget the Lyrics: Contestants karaoke to 10 popular songs and after they sing for a few seconds the lyrics are taken away and the contestant must keep singing the next 4 words correctly, if not, they lose and lose money, ala Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?

Apparently, NBC has Singing Bee which is eerily similar to Don't Forget the Lyrics although, that show has Joey Fatone as host, I don't know who is hosting this one yet. Wait a minute, there are 2 shows on TV right now that are extremely similar in the plot and set-up…isn't this like Deep Impact and Armageddon being released within the same month in 1998? I mean, I am surprised those asteroids didn't hit each other on their way to Earth…but I digress. Let's get the show on the road.

I don't know what I am more excited for: a running diary or Don't Forget the Lyrics, right now I'd say 'push'. I will say this: as much as I loathe reality shows, this is my second running diary on them…next thing you know I will have downloaded Nickelback to my Mp3 player.

8:30pm: And we start with a montage of various future contestants…who didn't see that coming?

8:31pm: Whoa, there is a live band in the audience; I think I found GE Smith and the Saturday Night Live Band. Good to see G.E. found work after Saturday Night Live.

8:31pm: Holy Shit, it's Wayne Brady!!! He's hosting?! I am stoked, I just hope he doesn't choke a bitch. This has a lot of possibilities.

8:32pm: Katie Mosier, our first contestant, is from California. She's an entomology major…which means she studies bugs. She says "I love bugs". I say "I love her". She's my favorite already.

8:33pm: Here's the deal, 10 songs in various categories and the contestant picks a category and sings the song. Categories are: Rock, Pop, Country, Classic Rock, Divas, Girl Bands, Rolling Stones, R&B, 80's music, and Death Metal. Ok, kidding, but why is there no Tejano? I'm pissed.

8:33pm: Katie picks the first category: R&B and decides on Stevie Wonder's I Just Called to Say I Love You. I'm waiting by my cell phone, just in case she calls me…

8:34pm: Alright, Stevie Wonder rules, but not as Katie. I may love her, but she cant sing worth a shit. She answered by saying "I just called to say I care". How thoughtful.

8:36pm: After debating whether or not she got the lyrics right, she uses a wannabe life-line. As it turns out, Ms. Bug get it right, she wins $2,500 right off the bat…this is kinda easy.

8:37pm: Moving on to new category: she goes with Rock and Three Dog Night's Joy to the World, hopefully she doesn't get confused with the Christmas carol version. She nails it again. Seriously, this might be the easiest game show out there, well, next to Scott Baio is 45 and Single…

8:39pm: Material Girl is picked from the Diva category. Katie says this is her personal karaoke stand-by, I'm hoping not because she's materialistic, because well, I don't have a lot of money. I will say this though, she does a pretty good Madonna impression, but I'm thinking she's not as easy as Madonna. Unsurprisingly enough, she nails the song.

8:40pm: Going into a commercial, I am hoping for some tough songs, like something from Jodeci or Pantera.

8:41pm: You've gotta' be shitting me: Underdog, one of the baddest cartoon characters in, like ever, is being made a movie. The down side? It's not a cartoon movie, it's a real-life cartoon…this looks worse than Scooby Doo, which sadly, I watched.

8:43pm: Back with Wayne Brady and my future wife (well, maybe). Now, the jackpot is at $25,000. Katie goes with Girl Bands; I'm just hoping it's Fergie because, well she has a penis. The song selection is Walk Like an Egyptian

8:44pm: So, she's trying to dance like an Egyptian, but it looks like the Carlton Banks dance. While she is "Carltoning", I think she screwed up the words…she gives her final answer and says she's "locked in".

8:46pm: Come on baby, papa needs a new pair of shoes…

8:47pm: Beeyaah! She got it, $25,000! Wayne I was thinking something more along the lines of hookers, drugs, cars, Iphone, or something like that…I mean after all, she is a material girl.

8:48pm: Another commercial break: How the hell is Michael Douglas get Catherine Zeta-Jones? I don't get it; undoubtedly Michael Douglas gets it, though.

8:49pm: The dog is sitting next to me. I ask him, "Cos, what do you think so far?" He looks at me expressionless. "Me too, buddy. Me too."

8:50pm: I miss Prison Break, Michael Scofield, and more importantly, Sarah Tancredi. I can't wait for the fall season. Good to know C-Note got a job with TNT, I didn't know how he would after being a convicted felon on the run.

8:51pm: Alright, my roommate just flashed a fuckin lizard in my face. I am terrified of lizards, I about shit my pants. Seriously. I cant stand lizards, snakes, and the Houston Texans.

8:52pm: We're back, and Katie Mosier-Ramirez picks Pop music. She goes with Jackson 5's "A,B,C" And for this song, Wayne Brady and some other black background dancer are playing the role of Tito and Marlon, apparently. So, in other words, we have a white girl dancing with 2 black guys…this joke is too easy, and before I say something too smart-ass, I'll just move on.

8:53pm: Katie answers with "how to get an 'A'", if she's right, she gets $50,000. If not, we are on welfare…and we are off to a commercial break. That fucker.

8:55pm: I'll say it: everyone, pour out a little liquor for Lady Bird Johnson. She will be missed L

8:56pm: A commercial for Kentucky Fried Chicken. For those of you who don't know, Frenchy's fried chicken is the best chicken in the free world.

8:57pm: Back with Ms. Ramirez. Wayne Brady said something to everyone, but unfortunately, I don't speak jive, anyone? Stewardess?

8:58pm: And, we're back with the correct answer…is she right? Hell yeah she is, that's how we roll. She is now $50,000 richer; I am betting she is getting a hellacious microscope now.

8:59pm: Classic Rock, next category. The song is…to be fucking continued? Are you kidding me, how are you gonna have a series premier that is 30 minutes long. The conclusion is on tomorrow night, but I don't think I can watch, I have a baseball game. Luckily, I am watching The Devil Wears Prada tonight so, I'll have plenty of space to DVR it…what can I say, I love Anne Hathaway.

9:00pm. I'm out, I don't know if I am going to keep watching the show, but I will watch to see if Katie pulls out the million bucks, I don't think she will. I bet she gets thrown for a loop by someone like Eddie Money. This show is like a combination of American Idol, Grease: You're the One That I Want, and Who Wants to be a Millionaire. You know, on second thought, maybe I will keep watching, by now, you should know me….manana.

p.s. Katie never called to say I love you. Bitch