Fine Line Between Ignorance and Funny

(originally written 1/11/08)

I have this buddy guy who is pretty much allsome. Seriously, next to maybe George Clooney and, maybe, Grimace, if I could be any guy in the world, it would be him. He just dominates at life. Highly successful at what he does for a living (advertising sales), a hot girlfriend, great car, and a pimp townhouse in downtown Houston. He's a really good golfer and, actually, is pretty good at everything we do: karaoke, washers, line dancing, 4-square, I mean, dude just absolutely rakes. One thing about my buddy: he's a Native American.

Anyway, a couple of weeks ago, we were all at the bar with our friends, and my buddy invited a few of his friends from back home to tagalong with us; I didn't think anything of it, and thought, "well, shit, the more, the merrier". We all after several hundred pints of beer and shots of alcohol, I made a snide comment regarding my friend. Everyone there was busting his balls because of everything that he has going for him in his life, and all of a sudden, I blurted out, "Yeah, we (my friends) should scalp him and even out everything, he dominates us."

Immediately, I thought to myself, "holy fucking shit, I cant believe I just said that", especially considering some of his friends were Native Americans as well. Needless to say, I had one of the biggest foot-in-the-mouth moments I've ever experienced; I should have been scalped for saying something like that.

Well, they replied back with a countless amount of Mexican insults and things really escalated pretty quickly. There were a lot of raised voices and a bunch of threats, but no one got stabbed in the heart with a trident, or anything. And, unsurprisingly, I even pulled out the, "dudes, let's just smoke a peace pipe and simmer down, fuck!" As you can imagine, starting something like that was probably one of the worst experiences I have ever gone through; just a complete sense of uncomfortableness permeating throughout the air; like a stale fart lingering around for too long. There was just one catch: None of this happened.

First of all, the only Native Americans that I know are those on television, and even then, a lot of them are just actors. Like Chris Rock says, "there are a few Native Americans and the rest are just a bunch of Puerto Ricans dressed up in feathers." Although, the first couple of sentences are true: I have a really good friend of mine who was the inspiration for this example. His name is Brian, I hate him sometimes…but that's not the point of this blog. So, what is my point? Glad you asked.

Tiger Woods is probably the most dominant athlete of our generation in any sport; and, I'd be willing to say he is the most dominate athlete in any sport of all time. The man is just un-fucking-believable. If you don't follow sports, it's quite difficult to grasp how allsome this guy is in his sport; it's not even fair that he should be allowed to play. If you do play sports, and golf in particular, you should appreciate how easy he makes the most frustrating sport of all time look like a breeze; it seems as if he's not even trying when he plays on tour.

Funny aside: Tiger Woods is so fucking good at golf that I recently tried to see if I could acquire his golf skills by purchasing only Tiger Woods clothing and wearing it while I actually golf. So, I forked over like a hundred bucks on buying myself a new golf outfit. I was hoping this would give me the Matt Cassel-Jim Sorgi effect. They are the back-ups for Tom Brady and Peyton Manning, so they are inherently good; sorta' like osmosis. I figure this would happen to me. The first time I wore my Tiger Woods clothes to the course, yeah, I shot a 107… "I am Tiger Woods" my ass. But at least I looked good out on the golf course, which brings up the "White Men Cant Jump" debate, whether guys would rather look good than win, or win and worry about what they look like later…but I digress.

After the whole Don Imus remarks with the Rutgers women's basketball team, you would think people, with the platform such as television, would be more wary of what they say regarding others, specifically minorities. But, apparently Kelly Tilghman, an announcer for the Golf Channel, "jokingly" said, young golfers should "lynch him (Tiger Woods) in a back alley. I don't know what is more surprising, the fact someone was ignorant to suggest this, even in a joking manner to a national audience, or the fact is was a woman who said this? You can read the entire story here: ESPN LINK. Yeah, men can be dickheads from time to time, (read: usually always, it's in our DNA), but usually men have this stigma that anything they say is taken with a grain of salt, because, well, boys will be boys. Conversely, women are held in a higher regard where they are more refined, proper, and generally held to a higher standard. I don't know, blame society, but this a true. Think about it for a while, men compared to women are able to get away with a lot more shit, regardless of what it is; this is why it's a huge deal when you hear about stories about Tara Reid, Paris, and the Spears Sisters that more attention is paid.

Colin Farrell is a dickhead, but that is something we as a public have come to understand and accept, regardless of how good he looks (supposedly). If Colin Farrell, Perry Farrell, or Will Ferrell did any of the actions Britney did, do you think anyone would really pay that much attention. If you don't believe me, here's an example, Pete Doherty. Who? Exactly. Some people will know who I am talking about, others will be like, "huh?"

So, what am I getting at, it's this: Ignorance is blind; it doesn't matter if you are black, white, male, female, an alien, or a fucking animal, we're all subject to being ignorant with what we say from time to time. Does this make us ignorant as people? Maybe, but it also means that we are also human because, even though ignorance is a state, it's also temporary. Am I defending what Tilghman said? Absolutely not; she is a grown, college-educated person who has to take ownership for what she said, jokingly or not, but I am also the first one to admit that I am the last one who should cast a stone at her for saying something like this because, Lord knows, I have said my fair share of idiotic statements.

No matter what your status, your class, your upbringing, ignorance can affect all of us, will it affect us is another question. You know how they say ignorance is bliss? Well, that's bullshit, it's not really; I mean have you ever had a blissful experience being around ignorance? Or is because some people are that ignorance we think to ourselves, "oh, well, thank God, I'm not like that person, or so and so." The answer, no; there never has been an instance where being ignorant is equated with happiness…at least, not in my twisted, warped mine. <>

But you know what? Granted I didn't make these same statements, nor do I agree that what she said, what Imus, what anyone in this world says is right. Who am I to think that I am better than them because I didn't say anything like this? I guess, what I'm trying to get at is this: There are countless of examples through the world, especially in the realm of pop culture, that gives me the opportunity to poke fun at other and ridicule them because of what they said at certain events. I don't know, maybe I should back off them, saying something ignorant is completely different than being ignorant, that must be understood before we can really start nit-picking others.

Am I perfect? Fuck no, far from it, but I know I am not ignorant; now, do I say ignorant things? Yes, we all do and if you say you don't, you're either a) a liar b) a liar or c) a liar But you know what, it's normal for us to get caught up in a heated moment; its normal for us to say something we intend as a joke but is perceive as racist

Laughter is the greatest form of medicine, it's therapeutic and can ease just about any situation, and I know it has saved me from countless encounters that said, some people don't understand it entirely. When used properly it's the greatest form of entertainment (ie: Richard Pryor, Chris Rock), and of course, when its not used properly, it can be the worst type of entertainment (ie Dane Cook, Don Imus, ); that's why there is such a fine line between successfully controversial and being stupid. I've pretty much come to accept that some people just don't get it: some people think anything goes, and granted as Americans its our constitutional right to say anything we want, yet, we also have to realize what is right, what can be perceived wrong, and what is just plain ignorant. Is that so much to ask? I don't know, but one thing is for sure, I am tired of reading and hearing about these people make stupid remarks in the media and pawn it off as a joke. Now that's just plain ignorant.