Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Hair Today; Gone Tommorrow

(written 7/13/07)

All throughout my life I've come across a lot of different people who have influenced me one way or another. From my Dad to Mr. Myagi; I have had a lot of people impart wisdom one way or another on me, and generally it has all been pretty resourceful and helpful for getting me to the point where I am right now as person. Then again, there are times I get myself into trouble which I have no of being in the middle but you could've figured that out if you know me.

One constant I've learned over time is no matter how bad, miserable, traumatic, and hopeless I feel, there are hundreds, even thousands, of other people who have felt the same misery I will/have/yet to experience; and more often than not, these feelings and expressions have already been known to the public, most commonly in the form of media: books, magazines, but, more specifically, music. So, what is my point, you're undoubtedly asking? Well, it's this: monster ballads have given me some of the best advice I have ever learned in life.

Admit it; every bad boy from Tupac to Danny Zuko has a soft side. Monster ballads prove this corollary better than any other example: from the bad boys in Poison to the heathens in Motley Crue; every man has a soft side, and, even though I am no Thug Passion, I have one as well; these songs below provide further details.

With just about half of every blog I write, I usually give a Top 10, or some cases a Top 7.5, of whatever I am writing about. I'm not going to do that for two reasons:

a) It's too hard to narrow down my 10 favorite monster ballads of all-time and

b) They all have different meanings in relationship to what I am narrating.

In no particular order, these are the things I have come to learn:

I've come to learn that I will always remember those people in my life who I have moved on from in my life, particularly those who I was in a relationship with. I Remember You represents a point of my life where I think about the people in my life who moved on, one way or another; good or bad. Even with my ex-ex-girlfriend, we didn't end our ways on great terms, but that part of my life isn't taken away from me, I'm always going to remember those days, and like Sebastian Bach sings, those sleepless nights. It applies to everyone, not just me, admittedly or not, you will always remember those people in your life that taught you about life, love, the birds and the bees and just about everything. Same thing applies to my friends who I have lost contact with through the years. Although, without the sexual connotation

When I was in college I was a scared freshman, I had never been away from my house longer than one week when I went to baseball camp at The University of Texas, but even then I had friends with me, so I was alone per-se all the time. After spending 6 years of my life in Kansas, which even though I say was the longest 6 years of my life, I am only half-serious. After graduating from grad school I played one song over and over because it was appropriate for me, if you really really know me, you'll understand why. Ozzy Osbourne's Mama, I'm Coming Home was on continuous loop at my apartment. I admit it, as much of a jackass as I may seem, I am nothing more than a mama's-boy. After being away from my home, parents, and friends for over 6 years, I wanted to come home, I had had enough of trying to make it on my own; I needed my parents, my mom especially; I needed home. Luckily, I have the greatest Mom in the world and even though she is 5 feet tall, she can move mountains, and listening to this song just proved what I thought all along: there is no place like home. When I got home August 5th, 2004 the first words I said to her were, "Mom, the prodigal son has returned"…things have been great since. Basically, like Dorothy says: there's no place like home. The Ozzman put it so eloquently.

Warrant's Heaven describes just about every relationship in the chorus, "no matter what your friends might say, together we'll find a way". All relationships take time and take work, no matter how hard they might get, how frustrating they might become, and how hopeless they may seem; no matter what your friends think, if you are with someone and you come across these times and you want it to work out, work it out together: together you stand, divided you fall. So, what does this mean to me? I don't know, just that Heaven does exist and Warrant rules

Cinderella taught me that I wont ever know what I got until it is gone. With their song, Don't Know What You Got I have come to realize the importance things I may take for granted in your life: from my life, loved ones, health, etc I don't try to take these things for granted, which more often than not, I am guilty of these things at one point in my life. Once something is gone, it's to get it back which is why it's imperative to appreciate things we all have and are lucky to have. It's al about putting things in life in perspective.

Bon Jovi's I'll Be There for You could be one of the truest songs ever recorded. This song represents putting someone above you. In a relationship that is key to every single successful one: from Lloyd Dobler and Diane Court to Bartles and James whether it's going to England with someone you love or getting your name first on a wine bottle; it's things like these that make relationships work. This explains why I have a Vince Young jersey.

Is it better to have loved and lost than to not have loved at all? This is the age-old question: for me, it think it's better to love and lost because you will know what it is like to be love and to be needed by from someone else; honestly as God as my witness, that is one of the greatest feelings in the world. Cheap Trick's The Flame wraps up this sensation better than any other song written. Loving someone and losing someone, that flame will always burn on, over time the flame starts to die out and that's what this song represents, finding that one, losing that one, and still loving that one. It is better to love and lost than not to have loved at all…I don't know, but I dare you to find a better sad song than this one, I don't think you can, other than All That She Wants

One of the worst bands ever released one of the best monster ballads ever; Mr. Big To Be With You. I am one of the biggest casualties of this theme: seeing someone you want to be with and doing anything and everything to try to see if it will work out. Contrary to popular belief it's not about prostitution, and in my infinite wisdom in the area of prostitution it pales in comparison to what this song conveys…but, not by much.

Going back to the duality of a relationship, Extreme's More than Words broadens on that concept: sometimes when you tell someone words aren't enough; like the old proverb, actions ring louder than words, and the same holds true in relationship. Telling someone you love them isn't the same as showing someone how much you love them.

November Rain may not qualify as a monster ballad, but its meaning more than qualifies as one. We've been brainwashed to think only diamonds last forever but; love does last forever, contrary to popular belief. This song bring forth the hard rough points in a relationship and wondering if you will get back to the calm and more peaceful points; the "rain" represents a passing moment in people's lives, but like Axl Rose says, nothing last forever, even cold November rain.

Much like Foreigner, just about everyone years to want to know what love is; their song I Want to Know What Love is might be the theme song for every hopeless romantic out there, but you know what? That's fine, who doesn't want to know what love is? Except Roger Creager.

Home Sweet Home from Motley Crue symbolizes everything there is to know about a man. There is no better place than home, no matter what happens, no matter what I go through, no matter how much I screw up, do right, piss people off, make people proud, home will always be home, you cant take that away. Even ghettoes.

One of the greatest songs of the 80's is a monster ballad and it comes from REO Speedwagon. Back to the theme about loving someone and losing them opposed to not loving at all, this song is another that captures that moment. Being with someone and moving on, yet as that other person finds someone else, Keep On Loving You speaks volumes about the passion you had for someone, even seeing them with someone else, the feelings are still there. Honestly, this might be the best break-up song ever, which is akin to being the richest Ugandan.

Angelcomes from one of the biggest rock bands ever, yet even they have a soft spot. Aerosmith displays affection for their loved one with Angel, and much like the other ballads I've listed they describe how much it means to have someone to have and hold, and to seemingly worship. Besides, Steven Tyler made Liv Tyler; maybe he was foreshadowing.

Whitesnake's Here I Go Again just might be every nomadic person's theme song. Is there a better f-you song than this one? Moving on from one place to another and trusting the only person you can trust sometimes: yourself. See, a lot of times the only person you can really depend on and rely on is yourself, if you are lucky enough, you'll find people to trust whether it's friends, significant others, etc. but when it all comes down to it, you always can count on yourself…unless you are in rehab. Never mind the fact that David Coverdale is a giant pussy, nevermind the fact that Whitesnake is the biggest faux-hair band ever, nevermind that the only thing people remember of this song is Tawny Kitaean; remember this is the song that was featured in Old School. And if that isn't enough, what is?

And thus we are brought to two of the greatest monster ballads of all-time, brought to us by the same band, perhaps the greatest hair band of all-time: Poison. The first song, Something to Believe In is about something we can all relate to, and what keeps us going through when times look bleak: hope. We all have hope and hope for certain things in life: hope to make right choices, hope to become better people, hope the Texans would've drafted VY, etc. And at times there are those dark clouds in our lives, but knowing there is always hope helps us get through the hard times, whether it's praying, being with family, laughing, etc. we all have hope and no one can take that away. Look at Andy Dufrense, without hope, would he had made it out of Shawshank Prison? I don't think so.

Finally, we are brought to the greatest monster ballad of all-time, and one of the most meaningful ones as well, no matter how you break it down, it applies to all of us: Every Rose Has Its Thorn. As much as we may, or may not, want to admit, people change, feelings change, emotions change, we all change, some for better, some for worse. We may experience heartbreak, joy, jubilation, or sorrow, but one thing is for sure, we are all stronger people from those experiences. Following the rose analogy; at its height, a rose is the one of the most beautiful things to look at, they are colorful and full of bloom, just as people are in their lives when they are happy. Consequently, when things are rough and going through dark eras, the roses wilt and start to fade. But one thing is for sure, we all have our own thorns and it's up to us to make the best of them. God, Poison and Brett Michaels are musical geniuses. See, every bad boy does have a soft side, so if you excuse me, I have to go find something to believe in…until next week.

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