Fate

(originally 8/20/07)

This past week, I was talking with a friend about one of the pictures I posted in my pictures section on my page. Sadly, it wasn't the one that had me wearing my Vince Young jersey, but rather, the one which featured my left arm looking redder than a cherry tomato. Of course, I am talking about the one that looks pretty gnarly and, for some people, sickening; it's the picture that was taken about 2 years ago a few hours after one of the most devastating injuries and most painful sensations I have felt since being hit in the balls during a high school baseball game when I wasn't wearing a cup. That episode taught me a valuable lesson: always make sure you wear a cup when fielding ground balls.

So, if you don't know the story behind my traumatic experience here it is: Two Memorial Day weekends ago (which is a long way of saying "2 years ago", I guess), my friends and I were heading to Galveston for the weekend of beach, sun and fun (and beer). Once we were loaded up on my buddy's boat we started our mission: riding a tube attached to the boat and getting dragged across the bay in Galveston. Here is when the story starts to suck for me: I was the first one to ride the tube and, not even 20 minutes the fun, I got thrown off the tube and had the rope attaching the tube to the boat caught around my arm. Somehow the rope managed to latch onto my arm and drag me across the water for about 5 of the longest seconds of my life (yes, longer than when I thought I lost my passport in Canada last weekend). After I managed to dislodge myself from the rope, I floated in the water, thanks to my lucky life-jacket, and cried in agonizing pain. As you can probably imagine expletives and state of shock soon overtook my body and I freaked out. I thought I had ruptured, or torn, a bicep, but luckily, it was a just a major rope burn. It took about 2 months for the pain and bruising to subside, but eventually I made it ok.

A couple of days later, I left Galveston to meet up with my family and show them what happened to my family. After showing my mom what happened to me, the only thing she really could say was "I was one of the luckiest people alive and my guardian angel was watching over me that day". I couldn't say anything but agree, of course, this was a freak accident, and not something I planned on doing. Before you ask, no, I wasn't drunk. Far from it.

But see, here is the point I am trying to make and what I wonder from time and time, and I think we all do this at one point or another: do we control our own destiny, or are we predetermined to follow a set design by a higher being? Fate, if you will. Does it matter what our beliefs are, what religion we are, if we pray at night? Or, are our lives already set and what actually transpires in them doing so not because of a coincidence, but because they are supposed to happen? Are there no coincidences in life?

Before I get really into this topic, I guess I should clear up some things before I go any further:

a) No, I'm not drunk while writing this

b) Yes, I do believe in God; I'm Catholic (all Mexicans are Catholic and Dallas Cowboys fans)

c) Because I don't attend church regularly doesn't mean I'm not religious

d) You may agree, or disagree with what I'm saying, that's fine: this is my opinion

e) Contrary to popular belief, I don't worship Vince Young as a deity; just on the football field.

Now, that we have gotten that stuff out the way, we can get going with one of my more inquisitive and thoughtful blogs since The Breakfast Club one. Agree to disagree with me, that's fine, but hopefully it'll keep you entertained.

Here is what I think: there are no such things as coincidences; there is a higher being out there watching over us at all times in our lives. Some people refer to these as angels, some as spirits; I refer to it as God. Sure there are people out there who may not be religious, but they are spiritual; they may not believe in God, but they believe in something, which is fine, but I think even they feel there are no coincidences in life…there is something which has a greater power over us than what we may realize.

See, it's not really up to me to decide which religion is right because, honestly, they are all a little different, not in a bad way, just unique. It's not a matter of choosing the right religion to believe in, but rather have something to believe in, much like Brett Michaels and Poison said.

Imagine yourself in the worse predicament you have ever been in your life, hell, you don't even have to think about the worse predicament period; just think about any moment in your life in which you were at a crossroads. Certain actions and instances that lead up to that, I feel are pre-ordained; someone, something, took you down that specific route. What happens after that, whether it be bad, good, great, or traumatic don't just happen because of a coincidence; something, whatever you believe in, took us down that path, and whether or not we agree with it, or even accept it, I think it's important for us to realize what has happened and make the best of it.

Control is one of the biggest things we want to be in; some of us want to be in control, others need to be in control. It doesn't really matter what the situation is: whether you are in control of the remote, or you are in control of the relationship in which you are in (which actually isn't a good thing, but I digress…) The thing about control is that regardless of how we feel, or how we perceive our personalities to be, we all want some sort of control in our lives; whether it be minute or total. Herein lies the question, can we control fate, can we control our destiny? Unless you are Neo from The Matrix, I don't really think you can; as much as you want to be in control and have total control of your life, I don't think you ever do have total control and this is why I don't think coincidences do happen. That's not to say they don't happen, because they may very well happen, but to me, as a person, I don't think they do; something above us has control and whatever path they are sending us down, or sending us through is the right path.

You can bring religion into this aspect as well, but I don't want to, as Sammy Kershaw says, you can talk about anything, except politics, religion…and her. Moving from the more religious aspect; I come back to last week and Barry Bonds' homerun ball. For those of you who don't follow sports and memorabilia here's a quick rundown: white people pay a lot of money for sports milestones. The ball Bonds hit was going for anywhere from $300,000 to upwards of a million dollars. All for a piece of leather with some red stitching weighing 5 oz. Here is the cool thing: the guy who caught Bonds' baseball wasn't even planning on attending the game. He was on a lay-over; waiting for his flight to leave from San Francisco to go home to Australia. On a whim, he decided to go to a Giants game, happened to have a seat in centerfield bleachers (which is the hardest location to hit a homerun), and managed to come into the exact spot, in the exact location, on the exact moment to catch Bonds' homerun. What are the chances of that? One in a million, billion, trillion, hundred billion? It's instances like this which make me believe it was not a coincidence, yet it was fate, it was destined to happen for that lucky bastard. Maybe in six years when A-Rod is on the verge of breaking Bonds' record, I will be walking back to my seat in the Crawford Box's and have the ball hit my in the chest…which will be find as long as I don't spill a beer. Ah, screw it, a $7 beer is worth spilling for a milestone…especially not a tainted one, but that's not what this is about.

How many times in life do you look back at certain events in your life and wonder, "what if?" What if you didn't do what you planned on doing that day? What if those unlucky passengers didn't overtake the terrorists on 9/11 to avoid the Pentagon? What if Rick Ankiel was still a pitcher in the major leagues instead of an outfielder? What if Vince Young was drafted by the Texans? What if your significant other said "no" when you first asked them out? Honestly, you can go on and on and on for literally everything in the world, it doesn't end at one specific point. But, what happens when those events have come and gone? Things obviously worked out one way or another, sometimes for worse, but usually for better.

So, what's my point? It's this: too often in life people fret, worry, and stress over things, small and big, in life; whether they can control it, or not. In the end though, does the extra worrying really do anything else for better; does the situation change for better, or lessen the impact? Not really, look there are things we have control over: the radio station, the show on the television we are watching, who we cheer for in sports, and what we would like to do in our lives. We can control those things; however, at times we will come to certain points in our lives were we will have no control over what happens in our life; it's these times where we should understand, and try to accept, that everything that happens in our life happens for a reason. There are no coincidences in life, fate does exist and ultimately it will lead us down the path of our lives in which we were supposed to travel down. Unlike Back to the Future, we can't go back in our past and alter what happens in life. A lot of people worry about what will happen if what they hope to turn out, in fact, doesn't; what if our worst nightmare comes true? What if the unspeakable speaks? Are all of these instances coincidences, or do they happen because they are supposed to happen? This is the scary part; whatever we want to happen will not always happen and it's up to us to understand it, accept it, and make the best of it. Things happen they way they are designed to happen by God, Jehovah, whoever/whatever you believe in; fate is a beautiful thing.

Why do I bring this up? Well, as I mentioned I was talking to my friend on-line last week, the episode affectionately known as "Steven's Memorial Day Massacre" made me realize some things, and looking back now, as opposed to living in the present, it's evident to me there were things designed and set up for me to do; as she said, "God wasn't done with me…there were things I still needed to do." And for maybe, the first time in my life I was actually scared because I realized I could have died; I could have died that fateful day. If the rope was 1 foot to the right, I would have died; but as fate had it, it caught my arm and not my neck. The more I think about that, the more I think about what could have been, but more importantly, what is going to happen now because of what didn't happen? Am I here to be the biggest anti-Nickelback fan? Throw Riv the best bachelor party ever? Write some of the best MySpace blogs on the net? Make people laugh? The answer: Yes. I'm supposed to do all of these things. It's sad that it took me all of this time to realize this, but hey , better late than never, right? What path are you going down? As much as we want to have control, sometimes, we just cant control everything, so if you excuse me, I gotta go change the radio station on XM Radio; fate is a beautiful thing; Sean Kingston's Beautiful Girl isn't...until next week.