Growing up as a kid, I always had one thing I could count on, no matter what was going on in my life: my family. It seems no matter what I got myself into, I could always count on four people to always be there for me: my mom and dad, and when my brothers weren't being jackasses, them too. I'm one of the lucky ones; as long as I been alive I have had the four of them to always be there for me. Sure, there are things in this world I wish I could have done differently, but right or wrong, moral or immoral, my family has always been there for me, through the thick and then, good, bad…and the ugly.
The only time I've really been on my own was while I was in college; I say on my own, but really I had a whole bunch of friends I made in college and, well, they sorta' became my second family: complete with someone who I would consider another brother: AJ (my 1 friend on my list) As you can probably imagine, growing up and reaching certain points in my life (read: 21st birthday and my emancipation from my ex's) I got myself into a bunch of shit, some of them funny, some of them bad…and some of them, well not fit to print for a family website, such as MySpace.
Like I said, I am one of the lucky ones; there are lots of people whose parents aren't still together, or even worse, have lost one of them, or the incomprehensible: lost both of them. Sadly, I have friends who have gone through that horrific event…like I said, I'm one of the lucky ones.
So, what am I trying to get at? It's this: who is the greatest television family of all-time?
Yes, I know, probably not what you were thinking this blog would be about, but seriously, someone needs to figure this out, and well, I think I am the one to do that. Trust me, I've watched a lot of TV in my life before, since I was living at home with my parents to when I was living on my own in college and all I did was watch TV.
Now that we have established that, let's get on to the details; specifically what are the requirements for a television family. Here they are:
a) Have to be a complete family; can't be missing a parent.
This rules out the families from: Two and Half Men, Sanford and Son, and The Smurfs
b) Cartoon families; albeit unreal and typically do not follow the laws of physics, are acceptable.
This means includes: The Simpsons, Family Guy, The Jetsons, and The Flintstones.
This includes: Friends, Seinfeld, Golden Girls, Three's Company, Perfect Strangers, and Will and Grace, among others.
This rules out: Full House (come on, 3 grown men living with 3 young girls…uh, was R. Kelly not available?), the Small Wonder family (who builds a robot daughter?), and all the families on the WB (the shows on that channel are the joke).
Reason: Yeah, sure they were weird and they were completely unbelievable but they were a family. Sure, Pugsley would probably suffer from diabetes one day, and Wednesday would probably go on to star in porn one day, but that's beside the point. The point here is the Gomez and Morticia were loving parents, and they always were there for their kids cheering them on…even though they sucked at what they were doing. They also very passionate to one another and you just don't see that in this day in age…which is why the Bundy's from Married with Children didn't make the cut.
Best Episode: "The Psychiatrist"
Why: Proves exactly why the Addams Family was a once in a life-time family; they "straighten" Pugsley out because he was doing normal things boys his age were doing…baseball, Boys Scouts, and bubblegum. The family, in their own weird way, changes him because he was acting "non-Addams"; if this isn't family love, I don't know what is.
8. The Winslow's (Family Matters)
Reason: Resonated everything good about a family: hard-working father (who was a cop nonetheless), a loving mother, and brother and 2 sisters. Based in
Best Episode: "Revenge of the Nerd"
Why: It proves why the Winslow's were great: everyone knew about Steve's crush on Laura…yet when a popular sorority accepts Laura only to ridicule Steve, she puts a foot down and stands up for him. It basically means this, no matter what: friends and family are the only ones you truly have and she didn't sell out because she wasn't raised like that…a testament to her parents.
7. Tie: The Brady's (Brady Bunch) and The Lamberts (Step by Step)
Reason: They were basically the same family, only 20 years apart. They made it okay for step families to move in together and get along. Both each had 6 kids (3 boys and 3 girls), parents re-married, and they had to put up with additional family members: Cody Lambert and Cousin Oliver. The shows were built around comedy but dealt with issues step-parents would encounter.
Best Episode: The pilot episodes of each series.
Why: Because without these episodes and the success of the pilot, there is no "Marcia, Marcia, Marcia" or "The Code-man". If these episodes don't succeed there is no Brady Bunch, if there is no Brady family, there is no Lambert family 20 years later; if there are no Lambert and Brady families we don't have any teen crushes to get us through our television lives…I always thought Al was the most underrated one, 6 years into show, I was right.
6. The Seaver's (Growing Pains)
Reason: In the late Eighties and early Nineties, the Seaver's represented the traditional American family in television. The cast of characters was symbolic as it represented the standard "All-American" family; psychiatrist father, a hard-working mother, and three kids every family can relate to: the eldest son, the over-achieving middle girl child, and the youngest, slob of a child. Eventually, we would see Chrissy but she was annoying. Episodes range from serious ones (sex) to lighter issues in life (Nintendo), but much like the Winslow's in Family Matters, they all had a moral to the show. Plus they had The Boner.
Best Episode: "Mike's Madonna Story"
Why: As the title of the show says, there are growing pains as kids and growing pains as adults, that why this is one of the better shows. It shows parents watching, and children watching, what parents go through as parents, dealing with one of the harder issues to deal with as parents: sex. As kids, we all face temptations and trust issues, there may not be a bigger issue than this one, and that's why this episode is great.
5. The Connor's (Roseanne)
Reason: It gave a glimpse into the lives of a different type of family; not exactly wealthy, however not exactly poor. Not exactly refined, however, not as bad as the Bundy's, basically they were
Best Episode: "Toto, we're not in
Why: As the family is faced with the potential for unbelievable disaster and the impending doom it will bring, Dan, the Buddha of the mid-west puts it in words better than anyone can imagine "there's some things in life that we can't prepare for. No matter how much we think we're prepared, we're just not, and if we spend forever trying to prepare for them, then we're just wasting our time." The beauty about this line is, even though it was specific to the plot line in the episode, this can actually be applied to everything in life.
4. The Banks' (The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air)
Reason: Without a doubt, the coolest family in the history of television; thanks in large part to Will Smith and Jazz. Interestingly, the family was a rather wealthy, and proper family, however, unlike some of the other families in television; they were black. I know The Winslow's, and Cosby's and the WB families are black as well, but the difference between them and the Banks' is the Banks' were wealthy and were usually found hanging out with white people. For this reason alone, the family had credibility within the black community (thanks to Will Smith), but were also accepted by the white community (thanks to
Best Episode: "Papa Got a Brand New Excuse"
Why: Shows why family is the greatest thing in this world. After Will's father comes back to Will once he has grown up and starts making promises of change and betterment, Will has his heartbroken again by his father walking out on his life a second time. At this point, Will realizes Uncle Phil will be the closest thing to a father he will ever have. As many people can relate to in life, some people don't have fathers, or mothers, but what they do have is family, and this episode shows that, not just to the cast, but the world.
3. The Simpson's (The Simpson's)
Reason: Easily, without question the standard bearer of comedy when it comes to television family. The humor ranges from sophomoric to sophisticated, regardless of your understanding on the humor displayed; you can't deny the impact the Simpson's family has had, not just in television, but pop-culture as well. Easily, one of the smartest television families of all-time. Thanks to The Simpson's we have South Park, and unfortunately, because of them, we have The Griffins from Family Guy
Best Episode: "
Why: No other episode captures the sheer brilliance of this episode. Not only does it spoof and parody an iconic movie in Cape Fear but it also pays homage to it as well as only a show like The Simpson's can. In its writing we see the greatness of the creators. Additionally with a featured role of Sideshow Bob and the plot gag used (walking into a rake 9 times) symbolize why The Simpsons is a smart show; using gags no other shows would think of using. Furthermore, My Name is Earl would do The Simpson's homage as well…some say the best form of flattery is imitation, this is true; not only with My Name is Earl but from South Park as well.
2. The Cosby's (The Cosby Show)
Reason: Without them we don't have The Prince of Bel Air, A DifferentWorld, and just about every show in the WB (which is probably a bad thing, but anyway). They were the Banks' before we ever knew about them, perhaps one of the greatest families of all-time. Starting with Bill Cosby all the way to Cockroach, they all played instrumental roles in bringing issues from an African-American perspective; it's uniqueness from FBOBA is the programming featured in the majority of the episodes were more educational than some of the other shows on television.
Best Episode: "Theo's
Why: Staying in line with the educational aspect of the show, the parents decide to teach Theo a lesson regarding money. As kids, we don't really grasp the concept of money, and even to this day, we still have a hard time grasping this concept of being financially responsible. As a matter of fact, I might need to watch this episode again…I'm going to
1. The Bunker's (All In the Family)
Reason: Easily, the most underrated family of all-time. The trait which separates them from others in history of television if the issues they dealt with and the matter in which Carroll O'Connor dealt with them. At the time, the issues they dealt with were considered taboo: rape, miscarriages, racism, homosexuality, among other issues. This show, along with Cosby's, were the only shows to be ranked 1 for an entire season. Archie Bunker, the "lovable bigot" is perhaps one of the most controversial, and loved, of all-time. Throw in the fact The Jefferson's were The Bunker's neighbors, the chance for greatness was so easy, it should have been unfair. If you've never seen an episode, do yourself a favor and check one out. Remember, this show ran from 1971 to 1979; it was so far advanced at its prime than any other show, it was almost considered blasphemous.
Best Episode: Every one
Why: When the creators of South Park started talking about ideas for South Park they wanted to create a character to resemble Archie Bunker, afraid no one would allow such a bigoted and short-sighted character in this day in age, the decided to create a character in the form of a cartoon. The result? Eric Cartman. Archie Bunker is the real-life Eric Cartman; I've said
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